Establishing goals is all right if you don’t let them deprive you of interesting detours.-Doug Larson-
I think we have all heard the saying “when one door closes, another one opens.” It might feel like that door is more like a small window you have to maneuver through or sometimes it might feel like beautiful French doors that pop wide open. Whatever the case it’s important to see the blessings in life’s little detours.
A few years ago I worked for a company that moved me into a position that was “best for the needs of the company.” My title remained the same, I was just working in a different business unit. I was transferred from the IT area to another business area in operations. I tried to fight it. I was unsuccessful. The move shifted the trajectory I thought I was on. It was hard not to feel like a marionette puppet. Even harder not to be bitter. I had a choice; I could leave. I decided to stay and change my perception and see it as one of life’s detours.
Instead of taking it personally, I thought of the monthly emails announcing position changes and the emails announcing as of today x is no longer working here. It was common practice to move people around the company chess board. I will admit, in the past when I read those emails I felt they were playing Russian roulette with the employees. We were the “bullets” in the chamber and with an almost quarterly spin, you could be shot out like a cannon or hang back in the chamber waiting for the next spin. Recognizing it was a business and of course, the needs of the company was a factor in each of our career paths, I took a tuck and roll approach. I adjusted with each change and over the years, I had several more in “the best interest of the company” moves.
For the moment the dust has settled. Things have stabilized. I work with a great team. They are both collaborative and supportive of each other. My position allows me to use all of my strengths and I’m able to learn new things, which is important to me. I’m in a good place while I wait for the next spin.
Embrace the detours. Thinking back they seemed to arrive around the time I was getting comfortable and nestled in, and quite possibly limiting my opportunity for growth. I was given the chance to make delicious lemonade from a basket of perceived Lemons. Maybe it wasn’t the company making the changes, but the universe setting things in motion for my highest good. Sure feels like that now.
You give but little when you give your possessions. It is when you give yourself that you truly give. – Kahlil Gibran
I donated some winter clothes last month. The Paralyzed Vet Organization came by the house and picked up a few bags. Easy breezy. I’m working on living my best life and had an insight, my best life involves helping others live their best life. I moved to Portland two years ago and work from home. I am embarrassed to admit that I rarely leave the house and when I do my husband usually drives. I go to the grocery store, Doctor’s office, Dentist and occasionally the mall. I still get turned around. When I think I’m heading to the mall, I drive by my Doctor’s office. Dang, it. That is happening less.
Here is my solution! I’m going to volunteer to pick up donations. I will get out of the house, learn the city and meet new people. Hopefully, they have a weekend shift. If not, I have always enjoyed volunteering at the food bank.
I’m off to google volunteer opportunities. Wishing everyone an amazing day sharing your gifts.
When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things– Not the great occasions– that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness. – Bob Hope
I had a glow of happiness today. During a meeting, I volunteered to draft out a detailed plan design of a project we are starting. After I hung up I wondered if it were possible to get everything documented in two days. I opened up my “shell” template for the plan design and realized I had already started it when we passed one of the main stage-gates a few months back. Bonus, I was far along in the documentation. The sweet glow of happiness filled the room.
Don’t forget to count these moments when you reflect on the things you are grateful for. I’m with Bob. These simple things are gems!
I’ve been knee-deep in finals and school ends this weekend. I lost my writing momentum but am getting back on track.
I’m still working on a well-lived life. I walked the trail at lunch today. It was a slow peaceful walk with lots of insights.
How am I doing with my goal to live a well-lived life? I booked a trip to Ireland in February and London in April. I’m not the best traveler so it is really pulling me out of my comfort zone but I am really looking forward to new experiences.
Each today, well-lived makes yesterday a dream of happiness and each tomorrow a vision of hope. Look, therefore, to this one day, for it and it alone is life. – Sanskrit Poem-
I remember in basic training when we were learning how to march in formation, our instructor would yell out “I am about to show you a maneuver, pay close attention to this part of my body.” He would either motion like Vanna White to the lower or upper half of his body. I thought it was funny, but in hindsight, I realized how profound his process was. What a gift to have the lesson you are about to receive clearly spelled out so you know exactly what to focus on.
Years later a friend made a comment about repeating patterns in a relationship and that until you learn whatever lesson was being sent your way, that pattern would continue to repeat itself. For example, picking a person that is safe to avoid being hurt or picking a person that is emotionally unavailable because on some level we might not be ready for a full connection or believe we are not worthy.
One of my favorite Saturday Night Live skits involved a person visiting a psychiatrist. For the entire session no matter what the patient said, the response from the psychiatrist was “look to yourself.” It cracked me up and stayed with me. I realized it was intended for entertainment, but it made me think, what an excellent response. Looking at patterns and figuring out any lessons you can gain from them may move you forward and break the cycle. Patterns that crop up every few years are on a smaller scale and admittedly harder to recognize, but are equally important to analyze.
Being mindful and present of your patterns helps you watch for life’s lessons with eyes-wide-open. If you keep having the same type of experience and you want to make a shift, pay attention to your patterns and the next time when the universe yells out, “I’m about to execute a life lesson, pay particular attention to your relationship,” look closely at any patterns you may be repeating.
”If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it” -William Arthur Ward
A fun tool to help you go from the imaging stage to the achieve stage is drawing out your vision. A life map of sorts. I think it is better to have a specific theme per map versus drawing too many items on one. For example, Continue reading →