“I’d rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not.” ― Kurt Cobain
I love this quote. I saw it on twitter today. I agree it is much better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not. Stand in your integrity be authentic, and you will be loved for who you are. Not everyone will love “the true you.” So what. The people that see the real you and love you and all of your perceived flaws are the only people that matter. If someone doesn’t like the true you, they are not the right person to surround yourself with. This quote reminds me of new relationships.
I have a friend that becomes someone else every time she dates a new person. I think she is afraid no one will love her for who she is. Which, couldn’t be further from the truth. She is an amazing, smart, funny, interesting and beautiful woman. But for some reason, she feels she has to become a mirror of the person she is dating. What they like she likes, their favorite food becomes her favorite food. I’m sure you have known someone like that.
No one can sustain this for extended periods. She doesn’t see any of her friends because every free moment is spent with new guy. After a few months of dating, the “real” person starts to emerge, and the relationship becomes strained because the person she is dating can’t figure out why she has changed. Suddenly she doesn’t like to travel when the truth is she always hated traveling. She just acted like she loved it when they first started dating.
It is so important to be your authentic self when you are dating or starting a new relationship. I think marriages and relationships wouldn’t break as often if we showed the new person who we were from day one, not who we think they want us to be. We get each other to fall in love with some different version that we couldn’t possibly sustain. I’d rather be loved for who I am, not who I pretend to be for someone else. Let them run for the hills if who I am doesn’t interest them. The right person will come along and love all the things that made Mr. or Mrs. Not Right run for the hills.
When we try to be someone we are not to please the person we are dating we are cheating them, ourselves as well as the potential love we could have found who can love all that we are.
#Second_Chances by Joyce Kostakis
I glance at the calendar and remember that it is my one year anniversary. It is a good one. October 20, 2016, I joined the Second Chance club. I suffered a brain bleed and was hospitalized for eight days.
On my second or third day in the hospital, my doctor makes his morning rounds. “You are lucky to be alive,” he tells me as thoughts of I’d rather be dead than feel this level of pain race through my head. As if he can read my mind, he assures me the pain will go away. Thank God. I am relieved. I choose to believe him. I can expect this pain to go away.
“When?” I ask.
Loving unconditionally isn’t an impossible task. In relationships, we start off loving unconditionally, and have every intention of loving until “death do us part”. In the beginning, it’s easy to love everything about your mate, especially when you have love-endorphins coursing through your body. You want to do anything to please each other. But once the love endorphins simmer down, which is usually at the two-year mark and then life happens, you get busy, you get distracted, and distance starts to build. The “until death do us part” starts to feel far off.