Working on my next chapter for Restlessness, Your Soul’s Cry for Change. I would love to hear your experience or thoughts on the impact of how changing your perception of an event, changes how you react or respond.
Can your perception of an event contribute to feeling unhappy? How easy is it to shift? For example, You think someone at work is out to get you or make you look bad or your boss doesn’t appreciate you and you feel miserable.
What if you shifted your thoughts? Jane isn’t out to get me, she is just being Jane. Is she coming from a place of fear? Does she think I’m going to take her job?
Maybe it’s not about work or me, maybe she has struggles at home that make it difficult for her to be patient. She is short because she is exhausted. You decide not to take it personally and not to let her push your buttons. Your next conversation you compliment her ability to finish projects on time or whatever you can genuinely compliment. How can you have such a good hair day in this humidity? She smiles, softens and the rest of your conversation is more collaborative. Admittedly, it won’t be a drastic shift overnight, but keep it going and you will be amazed at the difference and how quickly it changes.
You’ve probably seen this work on some level. Have you ever found yourself frustrated by something or someone and as a defense mechanism you decide to “pick your battles, ” and you give up the fight? You just don’t care anymore. To your surprise, the person that use to “push your buttons” hasn’t changed, but suddenly your buttons don’t get pushed, your triggers are not triggered. Your new mindset of not caring has changed the behavior of your antagonist, and you didn’t even have to have a “come to Jesus” meeting. I won’t bore you with details of how the brain works, but it turns out that we have mirror neurons. Google it. It’s cool. Of course being a sci-fi fan, I translate that to mean we are a part of a collective as our brains sync with each other. Your positive thoughts and attitude will be mirrored by everyone around you and all that changed was your decision to be positive.
Has anyone else experienced this? I would love to hear your comments.