Have you noticed there are times when you have a heavy workload and tight deadlines that you feel charged by it? You hear people say things like “I work better under pressure.” Then there are times with the same workload and deadlines that you feel you are going to snap if one more thing is added to your plate. Why the difference? Could it be the perception of being valued or not? We have an innate need to feel appreciated and to know that our contributions matter. We will dive in and give a task everything we have if we believe we are making a difference. If we feel, we are part of a team. Looking outside of ourselves for that validation can leave us feeling slighted if we don’t speak up and express our needs.
If you are feeling frustrated at work be honest about it, but show up with solutions when you do broach the subject. If your relationship needs are not met, spell out what you need. People communicate differently. You may think your message or signals couldn’t be any clearer, but more often than not when you learn to speak in a way that is more explicit to the recipient, you will be surprised to find they are completely shocked to realize you feel a certain way. When you finally speak in their language, it’s like it is the first time they are aware of your message. Even though you feel like you have been shouting it from the rooftop for years. It’s not just a man versus women style; it is a communication style. The five languages of love is an excellent book for learning how to communicate your needs in a language that can be understood by the recipient. Sounds a bit new age, but it is not new at all.